Plots and Petals
by Rosie eisoR
Summary: An indulgence in my rabid RemusJames shipping. One-shot, experimentations go wrong. Slash.


This was written for my friend tea a while back, and updated today because I wanted to update and I'm too sick to write anything sensible. It's a one-shot. Enjoy.

--

"What in the name of Merlin are you doing?"   
  
James Potter glanced up and flashed his friend a grin before returning to prodding a flower. "This is bound to make her fall in love with me," he informed Remus.   
  
Lily. It was always Lily.   
  
Remus sighed, setting down his armful of library books. "What's the idea this time? She sees you attacking roses, thinks - mistakenly, I might add - you're sensitive, and falls straight into your arms? Or maybe she'll think you're after Rose Bode, get jealous and throw herself into your arms?"   
  
James simply raised an eyebrow in response.   
  
"That's not it, is it?" Remus asked incredulously. "James, that's-"   
  
"Not it," James interrupted. "She pretends to like it when I flirt with other girls in front of her. But the bit where she falls into my arms is true enough. Or, it should be if my plan works."   
  
Remus rolled his eyes at that. "So, how does it work, then?"   
  
James put his wand down and faced his friend. "Well, I figured that girls like a bit of romance, right? So I got Padfoot to get me these roses, only, he says that it's not romantic enough to have them turn up at breakfast, and I can't get into her dormitory - not, mind you, that I haven't tried, but the stairs don't like stags any more than boys - so, I thought that if I can bewitch them to follow her around, she'll eventually get the idea, or be so annoyed with them that she'll go out with me so I'll take the charm off. Only, I can't get the stupid things to co-operate."   
  
Remus' mouth twitched before he burst out laughing. "That," he spluttered, "is the worst reasoning I have ever heard, including the time you tried to curse every other boy in the year so she'd have no other option but to go out with you."   
  
James shrugged, grinning. "The hair disappeared after a day or two, didn't it?"   
  
"That is not the point," Remus informed him, crossing his arms over his chest. He watched James for a few moments more, before sighing. "Ok, you can test this one on me. But if I end up sprouting a pair of extra ears like last time, you're buying my drinks for the next year."   
  
James let out a yelp of happiness. "You won't regret it, I swear you won't." He eyed the common room critically as Remus felt a leap of apprehension in his stomach. He wished he hadn't offered to help, but otherwise the poor girl would end up sporting a flower for a nose or something equally ridiculous. It wasn't that James wasn't a good wizard - the contrary, in fact. It was just that when he started to adapt spells, particularly ones for Lily, he tended to get a little... overzealous.  
  
"Now, I'm just waiting for her to get back from Astronomy, so if you walk through the door... Yes, that'd be best. And I'll be under my cloak, because then she can get carried away in the heat of the moment, girls like that, they like it if it's not all planned..."  
  
Remus' lips quirked into a smile as he retreated to the door of the room, watching James vanish beneath the silvery folds of the cloak.  
  
"What do I do now?"  
  
"Walk," came the disembodied reply. "I'll do the rest."  
  
Feeling more than mildly nervous, Remus began to walk to the girls' staircase. He was extremely thankful the Common Room was empty right then, and closed his mind against the teasing he would have to endure from Sirius if he found out Remus was acting Lily again.  
  
Something brushed against his shoulder. Remus turned to find the rose floating in midair. He grinned suddenly, pressing a hand over his chest and said, in a deadened tone, "Oh my, a rose. Who could it be from?"  
  
The rose hovered for a moment, then, as if it were a quill, began to sketch words in shining gold script.  
  
"James Potter," Remus read aloud. "Urgh. Well, I don't want anything of his. _Incendio!_"  
  
"_Protego!_" the still invisible James called, and a streak of silver light flew to meet Remus', blocking the flames. Remus could hear footsteps as the other boy crossed the room. "What did you do that for?" he asked indignantly.  
  
Remus shrugged. "I thought I was supposed to act like Lily."

"Lily," James informed him loftily, "is _not_ going to try to burn it. Lily is going to see that I'm thoughtful and romantic, and then-"  
  
"Burn you?" Remus suggested helpfully.  
  
"I'd watch what I said about burning if I were you, Moony, or I might find myself in an uncomfortable position," answered James, feigning a menacing tone.  
  
Remus snorted. "I think I'd find myself in an equally uncomfortable position if I fell into your arms."  
  
There was a silence, then, bit by bit, James' face came into view as he tugged the Invisibility Cloak off.  
  
"You're too heavy, for one thing," James agreed, his voice slightly hoarse.  
  
When Remus thought it over later that night, arms wrapped around his knees and listening to the snores of his friends, he wasn't entirely sure who had moved first. It seemed all too suddenly that James' lips were on his.  
  
It was wrong, all wrong, of course. James was too hasty, his lips putting too much pressure on Remus'. Remus didn't pull back, though, the thought barely even crossed his mind, even though it felt strange, to have James' hands holding him that way. He felt oddly detached from the whole scene, as if those weren't his hands tugging at his friend's robes, as if those weren't his lips, his tongue, his body.  
  
It was him once more, though, when he stepped backwards, breaking the kiss. The blush flooding his cheek was all his, and the stammered, "Looks like it's going to work." The feet taking him away from the Common Room, away from James, were his, too.


End file.
